Completing Him Challenge: Week Nine

Ta-da! Last one!

The week nine challenge is...

"Kiss him like you mean it!"

 

I, for one, do not think this means to write him notes or pray for him...

 

We're talking about forgetting about the dishes you need to do, the letters you need to send off, the kids that you didn't have enough time to bathe, the floor that needs to be swept in the morning... FORGET all of that and just use all of your energy to love on your husband. 

 

With a sick baby in the house (waking up all night because he's congested) and feeling not so hot myself, I'm going to need to put a good deal of effort into this. But I can tell you that I'm usually feeling so much self-pity by the end of the day that I normally don't. I'm sure I'm not the only wife/mom/homemaker/homeschooler that throws a pity party at the end of the day. I think that for the sake of my marriage, I can leave a few things undone so that I'm NOT so exhausted by the end of the day... 

 

I just got my copy of Heidi St. John's The Busy Homeschool Mom's Guide to Romance in the mail and I believe that NOW is a good time to put down Mansfield Park and start reading it... : ) 

Completing Him Challenge: Week Eight

Here's another catchup -  week eight of the Completing Him Challenge over at Women Living Well

Week Eight's Challenge is to R-E-S-P-E-C-T Your Husband! Ephesians 5:33 says "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and
the wife must respect her husband." 

I really thought this was going to be an easy challenge.

*whack forward*

What was I thinking? I'm flawed just like everyone else!

After reading Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl and becoming aware of the bible truths of womanhood that were not taught to me during my childhood and adolescence, I had a great work done on my heart and mind by God. I thought certainly after THAT that I wouldn't backtrack into that stupidity. Duhr. The Bible speaks to that exact circumstance several times - that the faithful Christian can lose focus and need to be brought back to God.

I don't raise my voice to my husband, I don't roll my eyes at him, I don't tell him no, I always defer to him in front of the children, I don't ever call him names or say anything disrespectful to him or about him. And I don't ever directly disagree with him.

So where's the problem, you ask?


I don't ever directly disagree with him.

My husband is no idiot... When he talks about a way to do something and I "suggest" another way that I may have seen on tv or read about... he knows that I'm not really suggesting. I'm telling him that I know a better way and he needs to do it that way. My way or the highway right?

One of the MAIN principles of Created to Be His Helpmeet is that your husband needs to make his own mistakes.

He will never be the driver of your family unless you let him drive the car! So I need to stop grabbing the wheel from the passenger seat. That doesn't mean get into the backseat... I just need to keep my hands to myself.

So lesson learned again - THANK YOU LORD! - and hopefully we can get on the right path again... 
 

Completing Him Challenge: Week Seven

Wow I've got a lot of catching up to do... just on the blog though - I've been doing the challenges. : )

For week seven, the challenge was to:

Support his vision. Discuss his vision for your family. Where does he see your family in 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years. Share with us how you let your husband lead.

One Year: Further homeschooling in First grade and Kindergarten, potty-train our toddler, continue paying bills enough to relieve us from majority of medical bills, complete current home remodeling projects, spend more time enjoying each other, have a nightly bible study as a family and teach our children more of our Christian heritage. 

Five Years: Transfer dh's job back to Texas and find (another) great community and church family and get to a financial position where we can give back to God increasingly.

Ten Years: See Noah (my step-son who lives in Texas) graduate from high-school and prepare for his higher education with everything that we have been able to enjoy, to be wise in the teen years of our daughters, start homeschool through high school, and enjoy sports and activities (all kinds of vacations!) as a family. 

All of these seem very easy to me to follow because they revolve around our kids and our home and are things that I share in want with my husband. Were they to differ greatly with what I want... I have to confess that I might not be so obliging. That's VERY MUCH something I need to work on. My husband is the leader of this home and were he to want us to go somewhere I didn't want to I would have a lot of praying to do. Mostly because I'm not too comfortable with change... but sometimes God needs us to change to be where He wants us in His plan. 

In fact, I could probably start praying about this now - that the Holy Spirit root out all of that in me that is resistant to God's plans... : )

Completing Him Challenge: Week Six

Now onto week six of the Completing Him Challenge! Head on over to Women Living Well to catch up or join in : )

This weeks challenge is to:

Make your husband a priority. Ask him what his favorite dinner, dessert and drink are. Be sure to serve him all three one night this week. Bonus: cook his favorite dishes all week long!

We're having family visit the second half of this week so Thurs and Fri needed to be frugal meals that could be made for a larger group. 

The first three days are all hubby though! : ) I even found out that he really likes meals that I didn't know he did.

Tonight - bbq chicken and steamed rice (one of my most frugal!)

Tuesday - spinach lasagna (had no idea he loved it - it's vegetarian) and zucchini bread for dessert

Wednesday - breakfast burritos

Not included in the challenge, for my hub's birthday, is buffalo wings and baked potatoes... and a german chocolate cake with whipped frosting and mini chocolate chips.


I already put a lot of emphasis on cooking for my husband and don't really cater to the kids (they eat anything like a bunch of goats!) : ) but I think he enjoyed being asked what he wanted specifically - I'll have to start doing that more often... anything to put a smile on his face!

Completing Him Challenge: Week Five

This week over at Women Living Well the Completing Him Challenge is to make a list of your priorities and then have your husband show you how he would prioritize them. 

This is actually great timing because we were just having a conversation about where things should fall on the priority list... and now I have a reason to corner him on the subject. : ) No, really, he doesn't mind helping and I'm sure he loves that I'm trying to change the focus of my priorities (what husband wouldn't???).

So... the list I came up with looks like this:

• Homeschooling the kids
• Keeping the house clean
• Menu-planning/coupon-clipping
• Cooking homemade meals
• Making improvements on the house

And here is the list that we worked out:

1. Time with the Lord each day. This often gets worked in whenever I get a few seconds (normally eating lunch or during naptime), instead of having a set QUIET time. After talking with the hubby, I can see how everything else will fall out of place if this is not priority #1 with it's very own time. I'm going to start getting up earlier each morning to have some quiet time with God now... THANKS to my hubs for pointing this out! And while time alone with my husband or intimate time should be a high priority, we both think that it already is a high priority and, like all other things, it will continue to be one if this priority is met.
   
   
2. Homeschooling the kids. An obvious priority and one that I need to get back into planning mode for, with the school year looming.
   
   
3. Cooking homemade meals. You would think this is obvious but I often get sidetracked with doing a million other things (hello blog!) and usually have dinner on the table late.
   
   
4. Planning activities for the kids. Another one I need to put more effort into... I get so wound up into projects I have going on that I forget they need outside time or playdates arranged.
   
   
5. Keeping the house clean (a LOT lower than I thought it would be!)
   
   
6. Menu-planning/coupon-clipping. Instead of getting shuffled off the list, my hubby kept this one on - mostly because we've seen the money saving effects that this allows us and that definitely is a priority.
   

What DID get a boot off of the list is making improvements to the house... we have several projects going on right now, the most major being that the kitchen is only half-painted and still has a border and linoleum to pull up. This seems like a big deal to me because I don't want to have a half-finished house when guests come over... but I can also see how the "damage" is superficial and that our home is really clean and in order. So I *guess* I can let it slide while I'm putting all of these things first. Certainly there will be times when everything else is taken care of and it can be done : )

Really enjoyed seeing how my husband would prioritize my day... makes me want to start talking to him now. Joking! But I do see that we need to start talking about more basic things instead of praising things that we don't really agree with... Thanks Courtney!

Completing Him Challenge: Week Four

I'm a little behind in pretty much everything, to include the Completing Him Challenge over at Women Living Well...

That hasn't stopped me from doing the challenge though - all week long I've been looking at my husband in a new light, taking the time to appreciate every little thing that he does for me.

This week's challenge was to
ADMIRE YOUR  HUSBAND.
So let me tell you a few things about mine...

• He has great ideas. Our finances did not support us celebrating our anniversary the way we wanted to... and when we were going to just look it over altogether, my awesome hubby came up with a great way to celebrate on a VERY tight budget. Often, I'm not able to see a bigger picture and he comes up with very creative ideas.... one of those "complete me" things. : ) I also don't always see things from the right perspective (he says this is because women are emotional and men are practical, lol) like what a particular bible verse means... I love bouncing verses off of him and getting his view - he ALWAYS brings something to the table that I just didn't figure in.
  
  
• He is amazingly selfless. Just last night, I took up too much time getting my daughter's birthday cake decorated - and when it was time to make supper, the baby was hungry... what does my hubby do? Without saying a single word about my misusing my time, he starts peeling potatoes and getting pans out. Speaking of which, I forgot to thank him - I need to call him right now... Also, when he was awarded an Old Navy gift certificate for a workout program his job hosts, did he spend it on himself? Yes. No, just kidding... : ) He handed it over to me and told me to go buy the baby some clothes. When I won a gift card in a giveaway, did he tell me to spend it on the kids or things that we NEED? Nope. He knew I hadn't bought any clothes since before I got pregnant, so he told me to go clothes shopping.
  
  
• He is fiercely protective of our children. He hates the idea of them getting sick (and tries to quarantine them) : ) or being around bad influences. How many people in this world just say "they need to learn what the world is like sometime"... not my hubby - he always has their best interests in mind. Even when I practice home remedies on the kids for things like pink eye, he always has one foot out the door, ready to go to the doctor... : )  (I take it in good humor, I assure you). When my three year old had an allergic reaction to mosquito bites (YES, that can happen!) I was just going to give her benadryl and call it a day, but he took her to the doctor and found out that it was a serious reaction.When that same three year old got a gash on her noggin from falling onto the corner of a chair (if you don't have kids, YES it's like this ALL the time) he drove home from work right away...
  
  
• He is a Command Man. It's really embarrassing to say... but I'm wishy-washy. I was a Staff Sergeant in the Air Force... and I'm wishy-washy. When it comes to directing people around, I'm good. Making decisions... not so good. If you've read Debbie Pearl's Created to be His Helpmeet, you know what a Command Man is. And mine is one. He always has a plan and he knows how to put it in place. He knows how to get somewhere, he knows how to budget for it, he knows how to get us all out the door in time and he's always ready to make a decision on where to go and what to do. If he lets me pick where to eat, it goes something like this... "um... I don't know... maybe here... or there... what do you think?" My standby is usually Sonic when I can't decide. : )
  

Isn't this challenge supposed to be about "Completing Him"?... because all I'm seeing is how he completes me LOL.

Completing Him Challenge: Week Three

Time for Week Three of the Completing Him Challenge - to join in, go over to Women Living Well.  Over and over again in our lives we have seen the power of prayer.

Recently our daughter was in the hospital for a concussion, experiencing some of the more dangerous symptoms. We asked our family and our entire church to pray and had their affirmation several times that they were still praying... When she was moved to a children's hospital for more intensive testing, after about an hour there she sat up and started laughing, talking, eating, and just became herself again (this was after two days of unresponsive behavior). I have no answer for that but that God answers prayers.

 Challenge: Print this list out and pray through this list daily. Also, do not forget to ask your husband each morning for any specific prayer requests he has for the day.

Prayer changes things - do you believe that? Then let's get started! Here's a list of items you can begin to pray through for your husband (taken from "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian):

1. His Wife -that's a good place to start right? lol!

2. His Work

3. His Finances

4. His Sexuality

5. His Affections

6. His Temptations

7. His Mind

8. His Fears

9. His Purpose

10. His Choices

11. His Health

12. His Protection

13. His Trials

14. His Integrity

15. His Reputation

16. His Priorities

17. His Relationships

18. His Fatherhood

19. His Past

20. His Attitude

21. His Marriage

22. His Emotions

23. His Walk

24. His Talk

25. His Repentance

26. His Deliverance

27. His Obedience

28. His Self-Image

29. His Faith

30. His Future

Completing Him Challenge: Week Two

This week's challenge is simply to Remember. Remember the day you entered your sacred vows. If you are a blogger, please post pictures from that day and share your story. 

DH and I were married on July 12, 2004 in Abilene, TX. We were in love and ready to start a family... so much in fact that it was started two months after we were engaged. (I didn't say smart)

We both had already experienced large family weddings and mostly didn't think our families would support us in having another (and were a little afraid that they wouldn't come) so we had a justice of the peace ceremony with only two friends present. Like I said, not smart. Looking back now, I'm sure they would have been more than happy to help us celebrate our new marriage, regardless of the surrounding circumstances. That's just what families do...

Evie was three months in the making and we were three months away from moving to Japan so we were excited, anxious, a little scared but moreover... HAPPY. 

While this was our marriage day, I also consider another day a day of new beginnings for us... the day we were both saved. When we were in Japan, dh deployed for six months (Evie was one month old) and we received our first trial. It was NOT easy for either of us and I heartily commend those couples that are still in the service. 

I had continued attending a church that we had visited before dh left and when he returned the pastor came to our house to speak to us. Right in our living room, both dh and I got on our knees and accepted the Lord into our hearts. 

And that was when we REALLY started growing together and loving each other the way God meant us to. = )

Completing Him Challenge: Week One

It's Week #1 of the Completing Him Challenge. Post Pictures from your dating days (or tell us all about it!). Think about one thing you used to do or have as a couple that you have lost in the shuffle of life. How can you regain it?

My husband and I had several opportunities to meet before we actually did...we were both assigned to the same squadron but different offices at Dyess Air Force Base in Abilene, TX. We had ALL of the same friends but NOT ONCE did they invite us to any of the same events. And we were both married. If we had met then, we would have viewed each other differently and never would have worked out. (this is also before either of us were saved)

Both of our marriages failed for all of the reasons that unsaved people divorce for... and then I was loaned out to his office to deploy with them to Kyrgyzstan for four months.

We worked in the same tent there (thank goodness he wasn't my boss!) and became friends... watching movies together and constantly making each other laugh. Somewhere in there it developed into something more and we were sitting by each other on the plane ride home.

Once we were home we had a whole slew of problems but eventually worked through them... and then we were finally spending time with our friends together. We dated for four more months before he proposed to me on Valentine's Day.

It wasn't until we married and were PCSd to Japan that we were saved ... which leads me to believe that, while God does not approve of divorce, we were precisely where He wanted us.

One thing we used to do that somehow disappeared after we started our family is our date night - we were always going to the movies together. It's understandable that it's gone - being in the Air Force, we didn't often stay somewhere long enough to have babysitters on speed dial. Now that we're both civilians, albeit frugal ones, this is definitely a tradition that should be reinstated.

This next week I also plan on being the carefree woman that laughed at every joke and told plenty of her own that my husband fell in love with... humor brought us together and it's just what we need to put that sparkle back in my honey's eyes.

Completing Him Challenge

I'm joining the Completing Him summer challenge over at Women Living Well.

Marriages need revivals just like churches do! It's so easy to get complacent and forget the first fruits of marriage and this is just what I need to help me remember them.