Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Harried Mother

That's me. The Harried Mother.

Don't get me wrong - we have our good days. Today was not one... I cleaned the family room twice today. The girls also cleaned it once. There are dishes in the sink. There are clothes in the washer and dryer that have no hope of seeing daylight today. There is flour on the counter. The toddler is not wearing clothing. There are generally toys littering every surface. I'm pretty sure that's a piece of brownie on the floor. *sigh*

I read in Debi Pearl's Created to be His Helpmeet that we need to prioritize. If the children are fed, healthy, schooled and dressed (not so much in this case) then you need to stop worrying about the house being clean and just let it go for today. If you don't, the kids will have an angry, worrying, clean off-the-rocker mama on their hands. I decided awhile ago that I can just give my frustration over to God and change my standards a little.

I'm not talking about doing this every day or letting everything go - usually I'm *mostly* organized. But if you know that you're going to have a melt-down if you try to do everything, just take a break. Call your husband before he gets home to warn him of the destruction that awaits. "Please, honey, just pretend like a tornado did not rip through our house."

Christian women are NOT perfect. Hence the reason for needing Christ. We shouldn't pretend to each other that we are - the ONLY solution I have for not going crazy at the end of the day is to lean on God. Little organizing things I do might help but ultimately, that is the only answer.

Turning to God is not easy when you don't do it all of the time. It took our roof falling in, our son AND daughter almost dying and a slew of small problems before I started saying a prayer with every breath and asking God for help with EVERYTHING. We need to trust in God's plan and accept when it doesn't line up with ours. 

After that, some dirty dishes just seem a little insignificant.


  1. Yeah, feeling a little bit like that with housework today. It's okay when I have more energy I will get everything in order. It really is not that bad and doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

  2. "Little organizing things I do might help but ultimately, that is the only answer. (to lean on God)"

    So perfectly and succinctly said. Thank you.


  3. We are so hard on ourselves as women, regarding the state of our home. It dawned on me one day why this may be. Bless my husband's heart, he is a king and patient man and would never intentionally say or do anything to upset me... but I thought to myself one day... I help dress the kids, I feed the kids, I keep the house clean (50 times a day) I provide clean clothing to the whole family, I homescchool, I try to train up our children in the way God would have them go.... the list goes on and on of all the things stay at home moms do during a day.... but what is the one thing my husband ALWAYS notices and recognizes me for when he gets home from work... "the house sure looks nice honey!" And although I love and appreciate his recognition out of all the things I did ALL day... that is what gets noticed!! I guess I started feeling like that is what is important because that is what people notice! I know this is not true.. but it is sometimes easy to forget where I real reward lays!!! I think most all women can relate to your post!!! Thank you for it!

  4. I can so relate to your post. It is hard somedays and I want to give up. I've had to sometimes crawl under my covers for an hour and take a nap. I praise God my hubby is so loving and wants to help if needed with encouraging words.

  5. Absolutely true! And I'm a fan of Debbi Pearl's book too!

  6. Ugh...this is how it is MOST days at my house right now. I was just staring at a basketful of laundry that needs to be put away and a sink full of dishes and half of a banana that is under the table (that will require me to get down on all fours to get to)...wondering how I'm going to get all of this done, plus a shower, before I have to head out the door to run errands. Again...ugh...

    :0) Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one...and "This Too Shall Pass!"


  7. Brandi, I would put on some deoderant, sick the dog on the banana, put the laundry on the couch and spend time with the kids. Some days I'm supermom and some days I just have to accept that I can't be...


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